He shifts about uncomfortably in his chair. You sink back in yours, tired of keeping it all in you. There is only so long that you can keep summoning the strength to keep offering him hugs and extending your sympathy that she had gotten over him. Maybe this is a bout of selfishness, but somehow, you know that it's time for you to stop being Mother Theresa about this. Why should it be you dealing with this by yourself? He's the one causing this!
No, you correct yourself. He isn't causing this. If he somehow knew how much hurt, anger, tears you have endured for this long... yes, he would've walked away. Maybe that's the easier route for both of you.
As if automatically, the walls of the dam break. One tear falls, and another quickly follows. He quickly gets up to retrieve some serviettes from the cafe counter and as he put one in your hand, you push back your chair. You're not ready to embarass yourself further; a few people are already staring rudely. But he grabs hold of your arm. You look intently at the floor, hoping that somehow, you could pull a David Copperfield and disappear into the cold night air.
"Please, let go. Stop tormenting me... I just knew this was going to happen."
"But you haven't heard my side of the story yet!"
You snatch your arm back, still refusing to look at him. The overwhelming anger at the unfairness of it all threatens to choke you. Haven't you suffered enough all this while? Couldn't he just leave you to salvage the vestiges of your pride and let you walk away for the last time?
"What is there to hear? You love her!"
"No, I don't!"
Your head finally snaps up and you look him in the eyes. There's something in his eyes... what is it? Feeling is coming back in your numb fingers and a weird sense of warmth washes over you; you realise you do recognise what you've seen in those dark swirling chocolate eyes of his... it's truthfulness. Now it seems as though you've been told that everything you've believed in has been false, and even possibly for the better. There's a flash of optimism which you mentally wave away immediately. It's... not possible. You fall back into your chair, suddenly exhausted.
"You... don't love her?"
He stares at you quietly and confused, as if wondering how you could not have known it. A part of you finally registers that he hasn't mentioned her name for the past week. Had you been that swallowed into that pit of anxiety that you hadn't noticed that major omission? He sighs, and takes a deep breath.
"Last week, I finally realised that I was being stupid... If we were meant for each other, we would've been back together as soon as we had broken up. Or maybe we wouldn't even have broken up in the first place. Whatever it is... she's left the picture for so long. I just found it so hard to believe that there was anything wrong with us, but it's become blindingly obvious now. Wonder why I didn't see it before."
He lets out a hollow laugh as he looks at me, as if inviting me to laugh. But no part of me feels like laughing. Really, more tears are itching to escape. He stops, sensing my sadness, and clears his throat.
"There wasn't any common ground between us. When we were together, there were so many awkward silences that often, I know there was such an unspoken gratitude for interruptions... anything to keep something happening. We never even really liked each other to begin with."
He reaches across the table and takes your hand, and you can only stare at the union that you've dreamt of for so long, resisting the temptation to pinch yourself. Hard.
"I'm sorry for making you wait for so long... I wasn't sure if I was imagining things between me and you, whether I was making you my rebound, which I definitely did not want to happen.. But I really am completely sure now.
One smile, and his whole face seems to brighten up. It's been so long since you've seen him smile that you're tempted to smile along, but you still aren't sure what this all means. Does this mean that he actually has feelings for you?
"That's my side of story. Wish it hadn't taken us so long to work this out. We've wasted so much time!"
Oh, that smile, those words... Were they really for you? And suddenly, before you realise what is going on, his soft lips caress your cheek. Your eyes widen in shock and... did your heart stop just then? There's a soft encouraging smile on that beautiful face of his and slowly, you return his smile. This time, you really do pinch yourself on the arm. Damn, it hurts! You wince, and then you laugh at his confused look, and he breaks into another smile again that makes you melt.
As he comes closer and you touch him gently on his cheek, as eyes momentarily close to allow lips to make contact... yes, you're definitely sure it's real...
