When you really think things over and wonder if they could have been any different or if you could've made them turn out better than they currently are... it's more than wondering if you screwed yourself over, but also, did you screw anyone else over in the process?

I hate revisiting the past. I hate knowing I've hurt so many people before, and that it's never easy to accept the way things are. I hate that I know what it's like to be in their shoes, and it fucking sucks.

I can only hope that they've healed and moved on with life.

Moving onto more positive stuff, a certain big bro of mine in Melbourne seems to believe in love at first sight now that he has been hit by it. Gosh, I make it sound like a disease. :P The way he talks about her... it would make every girl envious and wish that they were that exact girl. She's on a pedestal, and I think she'll be there for awhile.

It really got me to thinking if sparks or fireworks are really that important. Should it be present for it to be real? I got really frustrated at this point, wanting to bash something in. Why should all these books dictate the way it should be? Why should there even be a precedent that we all want to follow? Why are we giving a flying fuck what all these writers think anyway?

Damn you, romance writers. Shouldn't sincerity, honesty and decency be appreciated more than fucking fireworks that won't last throughout the relationship anyway? Maybe some relationships will, but there can only be so many of you out there. Excuse my bitterness, okay? I'll damn romance movies like The Notebook here too. You're creating illusions, making us delusional fuckwits, and I detest you for that. No one is going to be perfect by your books (literally) so why should we submit to you anyway? :(

I hate being made to feel completely useless and stupid. I know I've done so much wrong in my life but this is currently one of the more pressing shit that I need to get off my chest.

Yeah, that I fucking hate romance writers and movie makers.

P/S: Sorry, I had initially meant this to be a happy post that everyone will go 'awww..' at. Really. :P