Ever heard of reverse cam-whoring? Bet you haven't!

Hehe, of course not. I just invented it. :P

Anyway, to defy blogs like Cheesie's, XX's, blah blah, reverse cam-whoring is when you post horrendous yet passable (so no one gets blinded for life, hehe) pictures of yourself. Think of it as you, stripped to the barest of the barest. No image enhancers, photoshop, whatever else has blessed the loving narcissists in each and every one of us.

I wore my glasses the entire day yesterday for my eye test. Yes, I wear contacts. :) Old schoolmates would know that glasses ceased to be part of my 'features' in Form 3. It only makes an appearance whenever my eyes get bitchy and reject the contacts. So I got the bright idea yesterday that I shall create reverse cam-whoring!

So these are pictures of me with my new messy, shaggy hair, in glasses, a plain red shirt (one half of my pyjamas), and not even a single bit of gloss on my lips, what more a complete mask of make-up.



Are you blinded yet? Hehe.

Anyway, compare this with the usual. Like... pictures from the makeover and haircut!



Startling difference, kan?!

Yes, this is completely pointless. How'd you guess? ;)

I dislike that I was put out of my comfort zone when I was already out of it.
    Could I possibly have been left worse off?

I hate that one look at you sent me into panic.
    Still so afraid, eating at every bit of me that screams at me for my foolishness.

I detest the memories that slowly took its time to hit me at the most random times.
    The stupidity of my actions frightens me and the regret resounds up till today.

I despise that we live underneath the same sky, that you and I could cross paths again some day.
    Won't you just stay away...?

I hate you. And I don't care that you don't deserve it. I know I can't choose who I love, but I can make myself hate you, be venomous, and exemplify you as my worst poison possible.

There is no antidote in existence.

And so we headed to JB on Friday afternoon. In the heart of JB is Jalan Wong Ah Fook, which looked to us like their version of Chow Kit Road with shady motels and possibly... uhh.. 'chickens'. ;)

One of JB's main shopping centres is City Square. Most of the shops there can be found in KL so it was pointless trying to score anything there. Kota Raya was extremely boring but hey, if you're ever looking for a baju kurung/kebaya, that's the place to go.

Singapore was on our list for Saturday night and Sunday morning.



You'll definitely see this at the Singapore checkpoint, right after the guards holding scary guns. So... whose security again?



Roaming turns itself on, and then my brother and I discover that yes, we have been reading too much Kenny Sia to laugh at two innocent letters strategically placed together: "CB".

Do you read too much Kenny Sia? ;)



I scored a nice Guess bag and Kappa shoes here. They both cost $30 each. Also bought a Giordano shirt for $9. I told my mom I wouldn't buy anything else to make up for that. ;)



I couldn't take a picture of the Orchard Road sign cause we were in a mad rush. Have you seen the crowd there lately?!



(Heh, I'm in this picture)

This doesn't even begin to display how PACKED the place is. Everyone there seemed to act like everything on sale was free. :P



Singapore makes people kinky. ;) With advertorials like this, who can help it!

Alright, now I need to stop the whole picture blogging thing, and really write. :)

Singapore... It's busy, busy, busy. People there look like they never stop. Even when they're eating, they seem to eat super fast. As if we don't eat fast enough! The typical Westerner would sit down to a proper meal with the works: the appetizer, main course, dessert, coffee, some wine perhaps. And they'd take breaks between them. Here, we shovel the food down our throats like someone's gonna snatch the plate away at any second. Funny, huh? On the streets, the idea that I got was that unless someone was about to strip and dance, no one would bother. Actually, nah, they wouldn't even stop in their tracks for that. Everyone seems to have a destination. Judging by the mad crowd, I hope Singapore has a really efficient public transportation system and the workers don't go on strike as often as Brisbane's.

Their great (?) sales are extremely over-rated. Granted, I bought my bag, shoes and t-shirt, but I bet I could've gotten the same stuff here, and probably cheaper too. There're only a certain handful of stuff that would fall under the tag 'bargains'. Honestly, Singaporeans need to head over to our side more often during the real Malaysian Mega Sale. I know I didn't strike any good deals in JB but their unreasonable price tags are due to their knowledge Singaporeans would probably PAY them a visit. Plus, we're not the ones having a 'great' sale, right? KL rocks! And food there is so damn expensive. It's like food has turned into a luxury, not a necessity. Made me feel thankful for the abundant mamaks everywhere in Malaysia, yay!

Never before in my life have I felt so examined and scrutinised. Stripped to the bone. Especially when I was walking outside Takashimaya. There were lots of people sitting outside aimlessly and they all seemed to stare, study what I looked like, what I was wearing and estimate my better-left-unmentioned weight. Honestly, I felt like I was some babe walking past a construction site with lots of horny old workers. What's with that? Well, I suppose that's how the hottie in the Ted Baker cap I saw feels every damn day. Daymnnnnn, every straight girl needs to ogle at someone like him before they die... Hell, even the not straight ones will turn straight upon catching sight of that fine piece of work. Ssssizzleeeeeeee!

Okay, shutting up about the hottie. ;)

Anna once told me that she went to Singapore and caught sight of plenty of skinny girls. Now Anna is skinny. So, if she says they're skinnier than her, then they must be all bone and no meat, what more fat. Certified. I saw the many anorexics, bulimics, plain fucking skinny people and felt hungry. PLEASE eat. PLEASE feed them. Yes, they need FEEDING. I'm sure you have everyone's authority (but theirs, maybe) to force-feed them. Argh, please DO NOT starve yourselves. Whatever you're doing, STOP. Food is to be enjoyed. Food was never meant to end up in the toilet bowl or uneaten (unless bits of newspaper is mixed in your soup, like mine last night). Chocolates are beneficial, so gorge yourself on them since you can afford 20 kg more. Maltesers, Mars, Snickers, Kinder Bueno, Cadbury, whatever rocks your boat. Just EAT.

Okay, I only spent a grand total of less than 10 hours in Singapore, so excuse me if I don't have anything productive to say. :) I'd say I had a very interesting time though, and if you live in West Malaysia, there's no excuse for you to not PAY Singapore a visit. Maybe if you live in Perlis, but heck, give it a shot! Just try not to go with an empty wallet, cause that hole in your pocket will just grow so big, you'll end up with no pocket. :P

Randomnya, I can see fireworks from where I'm sitting now. What is 1-Utama up to?

The match doesn't start till 1 hour and 20 minutes from now. Did I tell you that so far all my predictions have been correct? Like, Argentina being beaten and Portugal getting their ass whupped? And I don't even watch the matches?

So just maybe, Italy will beat France. Just because I think they will. Haha.

Oh yes, I'm home. :) Will blog about Singapore and JB tomorrow!

(Links to Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4)

He shifts about uncomfortably in his chair. You sink back in yours, tired of keeping it all in you. There is only so long that you can keep summoning the strength to keep offering him hugs and extending your sympathy that she had gotten over him. Maybe this is a bout of selfishness, but somehow, you know that it's time for you to stop being Mother Theresa about this. Why should it be you dealing with this by yourself? He's the one causing this!

No, you correct yourself. He isn't causing this. If he somehow knew how much hurt, anger, tears you have endured for this long... yes, he would've walked away. Maybe that's the easier route for both of you.

As if automatically, the walls of the dam break. One tear falls, and another quickly follows. He quickly gets up to retrieve some serviettes from the cafe counter and as he put one in your hand, you push back your chair. You're not ready to embarass yourself further; a few people are already staring rudely. But he grabs hold of your arm. You look intently at the floor, hoping that somehow, you could pull a David Copperfield and disappear into the cold night air.

"Please, let go. Stop tormenting me... I just knew this was going to happen."

"But you haven't heard my side of the story yet!"

You snatch your arm back, still refusing to look at him. The overwhelming anger at the unfairness of it all threatens to choke you. Haven't you suffered enough all this while? Couldn't he just leave you to salvage the vestiges of your pride and let you walk away for the last time?

"What is there to hear? You love her!"

"No, I don't!"

Your head finally snaps up and you look him in the eyes. There's something in his eyes... what is it? Feeling is coming back in your numb fingers and a weird sense of warmth washes over you; you realise you do recognise what you've seen in those dark swirling chocolate eyes of his... it's truthfulness. Now it seems as though you've been told that everything you've believed in has been false, and even possibly for the better. There's a flash of optimism which you mentally wave away immediately. It's... not possible. You fall back into your chair, suddenly exhausted.

"You... don't love her?"

He stares at you quietly and confused, as if wondering how you could not have known it. A part of you finally registers that he hasn't mentioned her name for the past week. Had you been that swallowed into that pit of anxiety that you hadn't noticed that major omission? He sighs, and takes a deep breath.

"Last week, I finally realised that I was being stupid... If we were meant for each other, we would've been back together as soon as we had broken up. Or maybe we wouldn't even have broken up in the first place. Whatever it is... she's left the picture for so long. I just found it so hard to believe that there was anything wrong with us, but it's become blindingly obvious now. Wonder why I didn't see it before."

He lets out a hollow laugh as he looks at me, as if inviting me to laugh. But no part of me feels like laughing. Really, more tears are itching to escape. He stops, sensing my sadness, and clears his throat.

"There wasn't any common ground between us. When we were together, there were so many awkward silences that often, I know there was such an unspoken gratitude for interruptions... anything to keep something happening. We never even really liked each other to begin with."

He reaches across the table and takes your hand, and you can only stare at the union that you've dreamt of for so long, resisting the temptation to pinch yourself. Hard.

"I'm sorry for making you wait for so long... I wasn't sure if I was imagining things between me and you, whether I was making you my rebound, which I definitely did not want to happen.. But I really am completely sure now.

One smile, and his whole face seems to brighten up. It's been so long since you've seen him smile that you're tempted to smile along, but you still aren't sure what this all means. Does this mean that he actually has feelings for you?

"That's my side of story. Wish it hadn't taken us so long to work this out. We've wasted so much time!"

Oh, that smile, those words... Were they really for you? And suddenly, before you realise what is going on, his soft lips caress your cheek. Your eyes widen in shock and... did your heart stop just then? There's a soft encouraging smile on that beautiful face of his and slowly, you return his smile. This time, you really do pinch yourself on the arm. Damn, it hurts! You wince, and then you laugh at his confused look, and he breaks into another smile again that makes you melt.

As he comes closer and you touch him gently on his cheek, as eyes momentarily close to allow lips to make contact... yes, you're definitely sure it's real...

Why the hell would you name your shop SM Jewellery? Even if it was S & M? :P I can't be the only one who thinks that's absolutely WRONG!

Off to JB later and Singapore tomorrow night. Strictly family time. Here I come, Orchard Road! :)

Because all I've been listening to lately isn't more of the type that would subscribe as music for the soul (think Shakira's Hips Don't Lie), I don't know any new music that would be suitable under this category. So, let's rewind a little.

Grammy award winner Alicia Keys hasn't released a new album since... well, it's been too long. :) Her strong vocals and the rhythm of her songs make listening to her so enjoyable. So here, I recommend 'The Diary of Alicia Keys' to you.

My favourite tracks:

You Don't Know My Name
If I Ain't Got You (you might be able to search online for the duet with Usher)
Diary, feat Tony! Toni! Tone!
Wake Up
When You Really Love Someone

Now, onto what you should read, I'm linking Wanster's Started So Soon, Ended Even Sooner. I read this one at the uni library and before I knew it, I was crying. I always love honest pieces about emotions, scattered or organised, so I hope you like it too.

Listen. Read. Enjoy. :)