He charms them with a smile
and they rush to open the doors.
A queue forms outside
for 'just one night'.

He smells beautiful, a bit like the rain,
a lot like freshly chopped grass,
except it lasts and lasts.

He called on me with flowers and gifts
and all that beautify this place,
causing envy among the misfits.

He strained the sun for one last ray of light
that would brighten
my darkest night.

He would give me the world if it was his to give.
But I see it in his eyes;
hence it's already mine.
 
But what use is the world if there is no heart?
There's no red river
running through this beautiful stranger.

I'm on a Jay Chou frenzy. I can't get enough of his songs.

I have an assignment due in 3 hours. I hate it.

I miss breakfast with the girls. Sometimes I find myself wishing I was on rewind and back in boarding again.

Like I don't belong here. Like I'm an impostor.

Get over your insecurity cause hugs are hugs. Don't break me for something you're afraid of.

So hug me cause I know I'm not making sense right now, but someone's touch will make it right. It just has to.

I just had to be your dose of emo-ness for the day.

He was utterly charming, of course, with that funny way he walks and his hand motions and gestures. Savvy? ;)

We saw a uni mate in the cinema as well. We were meant to catch the same bus home but the bus left early for some stupid reason, with him in it. I came out of the shower and saw an offline MSN message from him: 'how was missing the bus?'

Trina came up with a brilliant retort:

'How was missing the ending of the movie?'

We knew he had left before it.

So... were you one of those who caught the last scene after the credits? ;)

Yatta! Season 1 is over. Me no likey no Yatta! :(

Viewtru left his wuxia on a cliffhanger and it's the weekend. Me want Wen Yiji to fast fast move backside and be like Peter Petrelli and who Trina calls 'the bitter old man'.

Averdim is blank. Besides that line about anonymity, it's lost. Hey, is starting over (or maybe it was starting again) that easy? Wipe it all off and there's a clean slate? Teach me. Hold my hand and show me what it's like to paint on spotless white walls, please.

Facebook and the faces I recognise are intimidating in a way. Part of me thinks forward is the way to go and replaying high school in my head is as strange as shisha with no flavour.

Where do you draw the line? What emotional barrier is there? How close do/can you hold someone? What's the distance that's comfortable? If it is, do you come closer or stay where you are? Why is it that people talk? Do people really fear what they don't understand? As the Kendall Payne song goes, how do you dream when you can't fall asleep?

Why does everything have to have a fucking explanation that's supposedly logical? Why can't things just... feel right? Why do you have to be able to tell someone why you think there's such an emotional attraction/connection? Why is it that it can't just be there without logic? Why, is everything logical to you? Why, why, why the fuck why?

Does love make sense to you?

Have I ever told you that I hate it when all the wonder and romance disappears at the interpretation that love is just the whole best friends with the simple addition of sex? What does that interpretation do to you?

And where's the fucking ruler cause I wanna break it in half and tell you that IF my lines exist to start with, they are all bendy and weird and squiggly and ugly. Oh, and I know you don't like it. You don't have to.

Now send me the pillow that you dream on not so I can dream of you, darling, but so I can have better dreams.

I tossed. I turned. I didn't get why I wasn't in Dreamland yet. I normally fall asleep within 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow. I got up and grabbed my iPod from my bag. I forgot that I synced it this morning and my random playlists were missing. I quickly selected a few songs and turned them on. I first heard Kai Bu Liao Kou by Jay Chou and thought immediately how silly it sounded translated.

I then thought of that boy, the one who I never saw after our first two meetings, the same one that made my heart flutter and ache and cry for some chance to really be with. I know it's stupid, but I had the sheet which he first wrote his number on with me throughout PMR. I remember now that it's actually the 2nd sheet. I had accidentally lost the first one and he had pretended to be mad. I had waited for him for a year to take me to prom. I now remember the boy who loved Liverpool and jazz. I remember how he had made my two friends' hearts flutter before trying it on me. I distinctly recall saying no in my determination to wait for the first boy. I think that boy led me on. I think he broke my heart.

I think of you when I hear Death Cab for Cutie's A Lack of Color. I know how much you like this song, the same song that makes me sigh over the lyrics and over and over I would sigh if I could. I don't know where I'd be without you. I have this mountain of debt that I can't see past. I wonder sometimes if you'll still love me. I get scared. I know I'll get scaRRed too if one day I ever do something that you'll never forgive me for. I want you to just  be here to hug me and kiss me on the forehead and my cheeks and tell me that you'll stick by me. I am selfish, dear God I am. I don't deserve you. I don't care what you say cause the next Starbucks Lattes we have together are on me.

I don't know what was going through my mind as I heard 'A Way Back Into Love'. I kept thinking that I should tell you about the movie tonight but that I'll just sms you tomorrow. I wondered what was going through your head right then, that moment, and whether you're really no longer mad at me. I think that you look really funny when you do that sniffing thing you do. I have never told you that. I reflected on our first meeting and our last and some conversations in between. I think it's all too mind-boggling to think about and I like the way things are now. I reckon some of it is confusing but it'll clear up.

I'm talking to you now. I'm glad everything's all fine now. I've missed our late night chats and you telling me funny shit and me laughing my ass off till 4 in the morning when you actually really really have to go to bed and I'm still reluctant to sleep because I'm having a good time. I think about the things you've said and the things that make me feel more than I really am. I want us to be two of maybe 5 Chinese people in the cinema again, asking to watch Cinta and almost being handed tickets for Cicak or some shit like that (and you've told me now it's Ciplak, hehe). I want us to have 2 Heinekens with our massive lunches and the American Brownie again as you tell me about the greatness of Jack Daniels sauce and me being the glutton that I am, tell you that I'm hungry 3 hours later and your priceless reaction of 'you're a monster'. I think they're good times. I hope you do too.

I wonder if you noticed what I've done to this post. I'm going to sleep.

That's another reason why London's good: you don't have to bloody wake up at 4:40 in the morning to catch a match. All you have to do is haul your tired butt from work to your couch and sit with dinner in front of the telly with a beer and scream at the AC Milaners who must have part time jobs as soap actors. After all, it kicks off at 7:45 pm.

Yes, I'm disappointed. With my Milo and chammomile tea and banana flavoured snack, at half-time, I predicted that we would win 1-0, possibly even 2-0. Don't ask me where the numbers come from. See, sometimes I have this thing where I can predict the winning team. If it hits me, then the score. During the World Cup, the only team I knew well was England (duh), but I never predicted their scores right. Instead, I look at fixtures with teams I know close to nothing about and just randomly managed to predict the winners. Guess what? They were always accurate. Ask Vincent. He thought I should be a bookie, lol.

When I watched the Chelsea vs Man U match, at half-time, I predicted a 1-0 finish to Chelsea and that Drogba would score. Maybe it was mere talent this time that told me. It was a good match, yes, closely fought, sure. But was I the only one who could see that Chelsea had the upper hand? But yes. It was 1-0. And Drogba did score. I think I actually took a liking to him. Tell me if there's anything particularly bad about him I should know about?

Anyway, this prediction 'skill' is absolute rubbish when it comes to the team I support. *grumble grumble* I'm starting to think that maybe I'm like Eyeris; when he's away and misses their matches, they win. I shouldn't even bloody try and wake myself up at insane hours in the morning and end up feeling like crap the rest of the day. Honestly.

Right now, I have this big grudge against the AC Milaners. I don't blame Alonso. Is that wrong? Though I keep getting annoyed that the boys thought Rena had it. Argh. Maybe I shouldn't point fingers. Memories of it are quite hazy now. But I'm annoyed the substitutions weren't done earlier. For some reason, I was quite desperate for the tiang that is Crouch to get on the field asap. C'est dommage. I really thought twice in 3 years...

*Sigh* Back to the land that still thinks it's soccer...

I haven't put up pictures in awhile and since I don't even have to upload them myself, yay! ;)

On Joanne's birthday, we went to THAT dodgy bar in the city. We as in Joanne (chick with the bottle of Vodka Cruiser), Trina, Mabel, Steve and me. Thanks to Steve for the photos.


... PIMP! Hahaha.


Boots almost good enough to eat. Almost. ;)


Me likey the criss-cross patterns. From Uniqlo in good 'ol London. ;)

I malas wanna put up all the pictures from that night. Go to Trinity's blog for the rest.

And on Anna's birthday, we surprised her at her place at 12 am. Credits to Tomoko , my long-lost PRIMARY (holy fuck, right, PRIMARY) schoolmate, for the photos.


Isn't she loved? ;) Anna's the one in specs and the red and white top.

That night, we went to dinner at The Brewhouse, a place in the city that prides itself for brewing its own beer and ales (duh). Tomoko (pictured below with me) became my pseudo date and we shared a huge yummy Tuscan platter with various types of breads, dips, smoked salmon, salami, a stingy two pieces of prawns, olives, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce and cheeses.


I like this photo long time!


Can salivate just thinking about it (what more looking at this photo *groan*) and put Pavlov's dog to shame. :P Besides the lack of prawns, the only thing I had to complain about is I like my bread piping hot!


Chanan and his craze for Mickey Mouse! But I still find it quite cool that his sweater came with the necklace, hehe. Reminds me of the time he told me he bought ONE Mickey Mouse shirt for RM100. Could've shot myself.

Then we went on what made it my second shortest clubbing episode ever. Never mind the fact that I was playing pool most of the night, haha.



Carey and Nicky who joined us later. Trinity said I have a sexy back in this photo but all her comment made me think of was Justin Timberlake!

Since we had a long wait for the bus, Tomoko and I sat at McD's over a cup of tea as I asked her about college life. Nyatalah, I missed that part of the typical Malaysian student life since I've been in Brisbane for 3 1/2 years now. She also told me about  government secondary schools and NS. Sometimes I regret missing out on all those, like prom and even SPM. But when I think about boarding and how irreplaceable those two years are, the regrets disappear as quickly as they came. :)

Gone, going.