Working in retail has its perks, besides the staff discounts.

Really. ;)

One of my colleagues, Maria turned 22 the other day. Right before her birthday, she said she was getting old and I protested that she wasn't. 22's just.. well, 22. She was going to celebrate her birthday with a dinner and then going clubbing afterwards and what brought about the old comment was that she said she hadn't been clubbing in awhile.

Then, I came back from the restroom to find Maria helping a woman who looked like she was in her late 30s, early 40s dress up as she changed from outfit to outfit and we helped her accessorise with belts. She also put on what anyone would call killer boots that she had only just purchased as she told me to help her get rid of the box. Stiletto heels, black leather with buckles on them. OKAYYY. Finally, I asked Maria what the lady was dressing up for as she disappeared into the changing room again.

'She's.. going clubbing tonight.'

'... Did you just say she's going clubbing?!'

'Yeah...'

'.... Told you you're not old!!'

When the lady paid for her purchases amounting to over 100 dollars, she said, "Well, the clothes are more important than the beer." Lol!

Another time, another woman in her late 20s came out of the fitting room with a vest on. Yes, just the vest. Might I add it's got a very plunging neckline. She looked great, yes, but it was a very... bold choice. We tell her in all honesty that she looks great and her response: "Yeah, I like it! He's gonna say I look slutty but that's the look I'm going for."

....

Somehow, on a very serious note, the only thing I can say about that is... cool.

And on my last shift on Sunday, two ladies walked in with lots of shopping bags on each arm, laughing about something or other. They looked like they're indulging in very nice retail therapy. Then, one of them stopped in her tracks and said, "Oh my God, I forgot to pick Mom up!'

Imagine that. :P

Five seconds later, her cell phone rang. As she headed out the door hurriedly, she picked up and said, "Mom, I'm so sorry. I forgot...' blah blah

Lol!

Talking about this now almost makes me quite content with my job, hehe...

Thursday

My phone rang. It was already bright outside my window. It was Jon.

"Hello," I answered, trying to sound awake and normal, like I wasn't still in bed at... I didn't know what the time was, but I knew it couldn't be very early if he was calling me.

"Hey. Where are you?"

"I'm in bed."

Laughter from him.

"You're still in bed?"

"Mmm... I slept at 3-something. It's Joanne's birthday... (At this point, Trina mutters sleepily that no, it was Anna's birthday) I mean... Anna's birthday. And we went to her house to wish her. That's why I'm still asleep."

"Oh... okay."

"Why, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing lah. I just wanted to ask you out for lunch."

"Err.. what time is it?"

"It's almost 12."

"Mmm... okay. What time do you want me to meet you?"

"Um... as soon as you get out of bed, brush your teeth, shower and get to uni?"

I giggle a bit.

"Alright."

After a few complications and you peering at me without your glasses, I gathered my things and we picked our food. This hasn't happened in awhile and it's always nice when it does. I miss our Wednesday lunches, when we used to just meet between classes and we'd talk it out over your burger and my salad. That day, it was over chicken fries (him) & cottage pie & pasta. You stood there, patiently waiting with a smile as I pondered before the row of yummy unhealthy fried food, pushing salad away because they took away the salad bar and replaced it with boxes upon boxes of premade salad with select disliked ingredients such as raw onion. Besides, it was brunch.

Some place quiet. We went to the lakeside and ignored all the couples and the two talking loudly not too far away. And then rewind. You talk to me about your problems. And I listen. And give comments when I think appropriate. There are two sofas with rainbow stripes missing because we're sitting on grass. By the lake. It's not like last semester but it almost is. You stop talking to ask me but then I shock you with my answer. Then it's me talking. And you listening. Sometimes you tell me things that surprise me too. And sometimes (or as a consequence) I wonder why all boys can't be this honest. It's been a year since I woke up in your living room on your housemate's bedspread, my head on his pillow. Since I stood at your balcony. Since we both had a beer in our hands. Since we actually became real friends beyond just two people sitting on the carpeted floor amongst a big circle, indulging in the weekend.

You were late for class. You thank me again for my company and I tell you not to be silly. Before you leave in the opposite direction, you give me a hug and I hide my surprise. You've never done that before.

I went a little nuts today. I woke up early to make it to uni to help manage a stall on Market Day but I ended up being a bit late because buses here drive past you and leave you in frustration if they're full. :P Okay, never mind. After close to three hours in the hot sun, I finally excuse myself to go to the city and get presents for Anna and Ana's birthdays. Lol, yes, they're two different people.

I took a different bus to the city and this route ends on a different stop than my usual, outside a row of coffee shops and such. I remembered that there's a very tiny, exquisite chocolate shop at the end of the row called 'Chocolate to die for' and I couldn't resist. Stepping in, a bell announced my arrival and the departure of two ladies. I looked around the store and picked up random things that caught my eye.

While I was in there, there was a pair of girls and another lady browsing. After the shop assistant offered us a very generous sample of a dark chocolate heart, the pair started picking things from the beautiful display. I swear I could just paw and drool at the glass. Mmmm... Anyway, get this. One of the girls picked three or maybe four pieces and handed over close to 6 dollars. FYI, that can buy you at least 200g of Lindt chocolate and have change for a Kit Kat!

In the end, all I picked out was a very very tiny packet of mocha flavoured dark chocolate pieces that were slightly bigger than coffee beans and they cost me close to 3 dollars. When I finally opened them, trust me, I wasn't disappointed. I could've finished them right there and then but hehe, I was sure I'd regret it and I wanted Trinity to try some too.

So... after looking at all that chocolate, I walked through the more expensive shopping mall and stopped at the store facing the front. The one that almost always makes me melt. Nine West. Hehe. It's only about the third time I've walked in there: the first time, I dropped off my resume, and the second, I suddenly felt like going because there were signs that said 'sale'. Obviously, sale means each pair still being cut-throat. =P

I tried on a pair that were really nice, and different from my usual choices, but it was black and I have enough black pairs. I also saw a bag that I liked but I noted that it wasn't very big and it didn't have a zip, so I couldn't close it completely. I put it back in disappointment, although I really wanted a second opinion because the material was just gorgeous. Kinda like really soft type of leather. It's a similar inclination that I have towards cashmere, if that's more understandable? Lol.

It's not that it was very cheap at 40 bucks, but somehow, I think I've accepted that the bigger brands are always going to be more expensive (unless of course, they're fake :P). I shopped about for Anna's present and finally got it, also scoring myself a small clubbing bag in black. I take very simple pouch types to clubs and such so right now, I have one to coordinate every outfit, yay! Then I realised that I do have something at home for Ana and didn't bother to look for her present anymore.

HOWEVER. It didn't stop there. Noooo, siree. I went to Starbucks, got myself a latte and sat down with a book and my chocolates. Yummylicious. After awhile, it occured to me that I still had time before the shops closed and I WAS after a pair of boots. I tried looking unsuccessfully in a small department store because of their unreasonable prices and then finally decided to scout the cheap as ones I normally haunt.

Then I spotted the other Nine West outlet. Oh damn. Unable to resist, I walked in and saw that they had another type of bag that wasn't in the other store. Ooh! I picked it up but didn't like it very much. Then ooh, another bag! And I immediately liked this one cause of its practical size and it's a sling bag. It was dark brown and I saw a black on the top shelf. But I didn't like it very much in black and there was another girl from China looking at the same bag, with her friend.

She didn't get it. According to her, Nine West is made in China and she felt it was kinda stupid purchasing it. Also, she felt the outfit she was wearing would discriminate her opinions. True. But I don't live in China. And she said she thought the bag suited me better. Aww.. :) After a bit of deliberation, I decided that it was practical because I could throw a sweater in, take it to uni to replace my torn bag and finally, not purchase another bag that I had had my eye on.

It's 5 dollars more expensive than the bag I had initially planned to buy from work, but the quality is noticeably better and it's Nine West. THE same Nine West I told Trinity that day that I would one day purchase a pair of boots from. Well, I had a look at their boots but none of them were attractive. After paying $30 for that bag, my senses told me I had made the right decision, even if it had been costly. Take note that I normally never spend that much on one single item. =P I'm a stingy shopper who would usually pick quantity over quality. But I guess some things change.

And after that (yes, the madness continues), I decided to hit a cheap store that I know sold all their shoes for 10 bucks. I had browsed through and found nothing but thought maybe they would bring in new stock. They hadn't, but I saw something similar to the ones I saw at Nine West. I previously hadn't paid attention to it but now, I tried them on. A bit loose but the solution is just to poke another hole so that the strap goes tighter. It wasn't slippery and I missed my old gold-coloured pair.

So that's a new bag, a clubbing bag/pouch and a pair of shoes. My favourite is the new bag! I couldn't stop smiling after buying it and as I was walking to the bus-stop, a very business-like man smiled at me and I realised that I still had the smile plastered on my face. This was about 30 minutes AFTER I had bought my bag! Even right now, I can still smile about it! Makes me think something is seriously wrong with me, hehe.

Yes, I think I'm beginning to enjoy my retail therapy sessions again. The problem with working in retail is that it makes one lose that sense of enjoyment upon making a worthwhile purchase, lose interest in shopping and I even started buying things at my workplace that I would normally never fork out such an amount for. I think I've seen the sense (or rather, NONsense) in that. =) Whee!

Okay, you're asleep now after that long tale. I should be too. It is 3 bloody am. =P In case you're wondering, it's Anna's birthday and we gave her a surprise and that's why I'm still awake. So if you see this, Anna, happy birthday, darling girl. Like you said, you were 16 when we first met and now you're 20. Makes me go wow. =) Many happy returns for the year!

My mind is doodling even though it's supposed to be filled with French words. It's drawing me pictures of comparisons, and it's not pretty. I'm still annoyed and I hate people who pretend that issues don't exist. Just the way I cannot ignore deliberate comments that people then make out to be nothing. It's not fucking nothing if you said it. Unless of course, I caught your Freudian slip... didn't I?

I need to reshuffle. I'm so sick of this arrangement. I'm throwing it all in the air right now to lay them out one by one. Oh, and watch 28 Weeks Later. Because it was quite freaky, I thought 28 Days Later was awesome (and so was this!), and... it made me miss Canary Wharf, Kor, despite what it was meant to be. :) Hehe.. Trust me, I'm sure Tristin was getting annoyed with me talking about the tube, and the DLR (Docklands Light Railway) and the office buildings at that square. When the two kiddos stepped off onto the platform, I was like, I've done that, I was just right fucking there last Xmas!

Sigh... Londres, je t'aime! Fly me there now, someone. I miss Oxford Street and Canary Wharf and the Japanese place that Kor took me to and the London Eye lighted up for the New Year's and the view from the London Eye itself and the crepe at Westminster and Downing Street and the tube stations and the blue Oyster cards and the *rofl* Isle of Dogs and the black cabs and the English accents and my own brother speaking to me with an English accent over the phone =.= X 999 and Marks and Spencer and omg Waitrose and Tesco and Asda and all the yummy food and confectionery and Christmas dinner and hahahhaha Thai Square clubbing and silly bars that don't stock Smirnoff Black but have Smirnoff Red dumbasses and crazy Jay Chou remixed songs that made me actually look Chinese super sepet -.- and Kinder Bueno warm milkshakes and the view from that park what's the name again the one at Greenwich! and the cafes and the numerous Starbucks and Cafe Nero and fish and chips drenched in vinegar *drool*.

Okay, that's enough. :( I've tortured myself enough.... FUCK I WANNA BE BACK THERE NOW!

Anyway... wtf am I doing awake? =.= My assignment is done and I have class at noon. Duh. No more fricking doodling! And *sob*... missing London... :(

*whacks self* Stop googling Covent Garden! I forgot about my Belgian place with the kilopot of mussels.. :( Cannot, I must go to the Belgian bar in the city and see if they can bloody conjure up the same yummy miracle that they did at Covent!

A part of me thinks I I think a part of me remains in its crevices, the old buildings that house this mad abundance of memories (I cancelled the first part because my mental goodbyes have done rather well). The storybooks weaved tales of pretty girls and handsome boys, giggly proposals and painful rejections, whirlwind romances of surprising depth and friends that you will hold onto for as long as you shall live. It meant the enemies, teachers, books, girls, boys, secrets, and god, I could go on forever but it wouldn't mean a thing because description isn't justice. But you know what it's like. It's just school.

my storybook had all that. but even in my storybook, i wasn't always the main character. everyday was a celebration and everyday was to be dreaded. at some point, we all loved it and hated it at the same time. you know those days when you were at your most self-conscious and something had to go wrong to add to your misery? life was never kind this way. every one day of the year, i wasn't the only one, but there was an empty echo that reverberated throughout my walls and it's the day when all the beautiful people celebrate their kind. it doesn't matter that it died the next day; it lasted long enough to stir a broth of envy fit to feed six and when you had just about forgotten it, it comes again. 365 days later. it'll never go away.

when circumstances change, and i become beautiful, i no longer want it. i become indifferent. it becomes... a lie. it's like something you could take away cause it no longer means anything to me. i have no envy, but this silent disgrace and i shake my head because i don't see it. i don't believe in it anymore. which means i won't believe in whatever else you say. do you understand? no, you don't have to. it's a matter of little importance. all you have to know is that right now, what you give? it's not stunning. i've ceased to be stunned by this. i hold it with disregard because the others have all gone before me to have bigger, better. and underneath all this, all i remember is this need to demonstrate that they were wrong. i CAN do better. screw you if you can't give that to me.

or maybe, darling, it's just me. i am ungrateful and cold. or it's just you. and i'll add nothing to that. is that a better reason?

(I stopped starting my sentences in capitals midway cause school was when I had no regard for formalities like this)

Nothing about this is really meant to make any sense.

I feel that unhealthy impulse to lie, to force myself to see beyond what I can actually see, to scribble a colourful elaboration of what isn't there. But I'm not blinded yet and I still couldn't possibly lie to me or to you. Maybe this is all it's going to be, and I'm asking and searching myself, and the answer is that maybe this is all I have to give... Could you be content?

This is why I hate it when people in their glazed-over heads discuss the(ir) future: they have no regard for what might go wrong, the possibility of a watering down and gradual disappearance of all this crazy excitement they treat as fuel for today and tomorrow. None of that is here anymore. What's in its place?

Right now, there's a distant steady hum, a lack of drama, and while I insist it's good, I've been told that it's fake. People are greedy. It'll come back. Hold my thoughts right here while I try never to get accustomed and sick of this constant sound that brings a certain standstill to my emotions. And I can breathe.

A friend is doing that thing, where you whisper secrets into that hole in the tree and then cover it with mud. I'm the tree. They're beautiful secrets, and I don't wanna share it with anyone. I wish that one day, I could be the object of such affections, to be able to drive someone up high and bring him down low (but hopefully never do so).

A study lamp that doesn't work after barely a week of use + Internet that breaks down every 5 minutes + lack of energy + the need to save my running nose + missing out on French class + weird dreams of being kidnapped + being woken up early + sick feeling in the stomach + wanting to just punch something =

not a very happy me.

Tu es d'accord? :(

Sigh. Clock ticking. Me ticking too.