Last night, I was sitting in the garage (only place my wireless works properly) at close to 1 am. Magic was asleep, Eddie was just about to, when someone comes knocking on the garage door. My first thought was, shit, robbers these days are so brave, they even come knocking! &$#%!!

Then I realised, wait.. Ryan's out. Maybe that's him. So I asked cautiously, "Ryan?" and he said something really loudly; I have no idea what. I quickly got Eddie to open the door. Ryan came in then and started talking really loudly and I told him to shut up, and that he'll wake Magic up. He just laughs it off, and tells me that there's Tucker Max to be read. Fucking hell, I regret the day I introduced him to the biggest arse alive. :P

He put his pie down on the table (God knows where he got a pie in the middle of the night!!) and then exclaimed that wtf, his computer's on. Like, duh. That's normally what happens when you don't switch it off before you go drinking. :P And he caught sight of all these messages waiting for him and started typing some shit up that doesn't even make sense to someone who has already gone offline. Lol! It's like jumbled up swear words! I couldn't help laughing even though I was worried as hell his mom would suddenly wake up and scream the house down.

So I quickly told the people online that I'd be back after I get rid of Ryan and took him upstairs. Argh, have I ever told you that beer on shirts don't go together? Well, it's worse. He told me his friends splashed it all over his face. And his shirt had something looking suspiciously like puke. I wonder if he got kicked out of the place. Then he started talking about how he could never drink as much as Tucker Max. As if you'd even try that anyway!! Think your life's too long? :P

I told him that I'll go up to this room and get him a shirt, but he said, NO! His mom's sleeping in his room. Dammit. So I made him sit, got him a plate and a spoon so he could eat. He insisted on going downstairs to read Tucker Max but I stopped him at the stairs and told him to eat first. He swayed about and his spoon almost dropped but I caught it in the nick of time. Fuck, close call. He said, wow, my reflexes are so quick, I ought to be in the Olympics. Sure, the day pigs fly, buddy. :P

And then the spoon dropped to the floor. But nobody in the house wakes up to that. Phew.

I ran downstairs to get a shirt from Eddie and as he pulled one out of the cupboard, he said, "Hmmm.. I just wore this. Maybe I shouldn't give it to him." I reassure him that it's completely fine because he's drunk and doesn't deserve better and go back upstairs. He has spilled tomato sauce on his pants. I sure as heck wasn't gonna help him with that. :P I grab some tissues and tell him to clean himself up. After that, I commented that he looks like he's got his period. :P

I got him some water, and he said, "Wow... how come you know how to take care of a drunk?" I told him that I've done it before, so why not? He took some coins out of his pocket, and tried to pay me, and I snapped back that he's treating me like a whore. :P He just laughed it off and finished eating. As I was annoyed, I smacked a wet face towel in his face, and he accused me of trying to get him to sleep. And then he went back to insisting that he wanted to go back to reading Tucker Max. Quietly. And I stupidly agreed.

I took him downstairs and then he started playing with the basketball, telling me and Eddie he just wants to sit on it no matter how many times I try to grab it from him. Then he tried sitting on it in front of the computer and fell a few times, Eddie and I in stitches watching him make a complete fool out of himself. I tried to pull him back upstairs as he drunkenly attempted to read something he's already read before but just before I can get him out of the door, he does the stupidest and loudest thing imaginable.

He sits on the fucking garage door remote! :P

The garage door is normally open so it started closing! And as the thing emitted really loud continuous sounds and the light turned on, he yelled, "Shit", tried to do something like hide, Magic wakes up, Eddie laughs even more and I quickly grab the remote. I didn't know which button to press, so I pressed any one and thank my lucky stars, it stopped closing and began to open back again.

That's it! I pulled him back, whacked him a couple of times, and took him back upstairs. And then he tells me he needs the bathroom really badly. Argh. I took him back downstairs to the bathroom and waited for him outside. I waited. And waited.

He opened the door and told me he can't find it.

HELL NO!

Then he said he's just kidding and closed the door.

Ergh. Juvenile.

He gets out and I cautiously asked him if he's washed his hands, cause I sure as hell am not touching it if it's dirty. He says yes, but that he'll wash it again just for me. Remind me again why I put up with him. :P He got out and I helped him onto the sofa. He switched on the TV as I closed the balcony door, his normal way of getting into the house, and I asked him if he's alright. He said he's fine and so I leave him there, not bothered anymore.

This morning, Ryan's mom asked me if I had used my face towel in the kitchen. I was a bit confused, before I realised it's the towel I passed to Ryan. I contemplated telling her that her son used it last night when he was off his face...

Nah.

I just told her that I had used it and left it in the kitchen last night. :P